You ARE a HERO

            The definition of a hero (term reflecting both genders) is according to Webster :  somebody who commits an act of remarkable bravery or who has shown an admirable quality such as great courage or strength of character; a war hero ; someone admired for outstanding qualities or achievements; people who fight the  war against poverty; the principal character in some type of theatre production, someone with super human powers, or a really long sandwich.  Although the written definition is broad, to label someone a hero is not always easy and often many heroes are overlooked.  The idea of hero often suggests an elite and unique quality or act that many others do not exhibit, that is how many people get media recognition, big statues in their honor, and mentioned in history books, etc.  Most heroes not only do not get the public recognition they deserve, but they often do not even know they are a hero themselves.

Just as each of us possess the potential to do harm we all possess the qualities to exhibit hero  characteristics… maybe not the ability to leap large buildings in a single bound or become a long sandwich… but  we all have the ability to demonstrate remarkable bravery, courage, and strength of character.  We get the chance or take the opportunity to express those qualities sometime during our lives.  Sometimes we volunteer to express these qualities and sometimes we are forced into it by life events. 

The heroes in the media are amazing to learn about, and the people willing to put their life on the line for our benefit are incredible, but the thing that has been amazing to me is to witness all the heroes we have here in this room tonight.  When you lose your beloved you are thrown into an event that draws on your ability to show great courage and strength of character to fight the war that beats you up with guilt and regret and wants to close your heart and take your life.  I realize you did not experience wide spread media attention when you displayed the courage to get dressed on the first day after your beloved died, when you cried in public, when you went to your first support group meeting,  to your religious service such as church for the first time, when you slept alone for the first time and nights thereafter in the same bed your shared with the one you long for, and when you lived through another second of another day.  Yet very few life experiences require more super human powers than to experience the depth of feelings thrust upon you when your significant-other/ spouse died.

I know the last thing a true hero ever wants is admiration, it feels embarrassing and frustrating because you have no choice.. or at least you think you do not.  You all made a Hero’s choice to feel your grief in all you can stand and not try to mute it out with frantic busy-ness, false optimism or by continuing to demand a party.  You have been brave enough to gnash your teeth and beat your fists at the forces that have you feeling the deepest pain you may have ever known.  In truth, you have been the bravest Hero of all, because you were brave enough to LOVE and even more amazing; to allow another to LOVE you.

Your pain and sadness is LOVE and over time and with courage, faith and a lot of work, it also becomes joy and bliss with great overtones of wisdom and grace.. if you are humble enough… to be a hero.. a hero for LOVE not for death.    Bless you all…